Pushing the Envelope

by Doctor Randomercam

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released August 6, 2016



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Dr Randomercam London, UK

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Track Name: Hey Triggly
Oh Triggly you're so beast
You're so beast you break the seats
Hey Triggly! Hey Triggly!

Oh Triggly you're so based
You are lost in time and space
Hey Triggly! Hey Triggly!

Oh Triggly What's up Doc?
Did you lose your bottle top?
Hey Triggly! Hey Triggly!

Oh Triggly you're just jelly
Get this hate speech in my belly

You heard there was a heathen speaking in your midst
You got up on your feet, and what a fete that is
You are what you eat, and you eat trolls, Triggly!

A faggot told you you have cancer of the soul
The bad man said "Boo hoo" The lady said "I know"
Now there's nothing left to do but thought control, Triggly!

Oh Triggly what a tricky time for you to be
a gender fluid horse kin with gastric ADD
Oh Triggly you're so slippery that must be the goo
The car drives you, Triggly!
It runs on you, Triggly
Goo, Triggly!
State of the art, Triggly

Why don't you shut your controlling station down
And get back to the front of any given crowd
And scream "Off with his head" We want them dead Triggly!

You'll shout abuse until they stop all this abuse
"Stop treating us like children. Where'd I put my juice?"
You took all the blue pills. You're on the loose, Triggly!

Oh Triggly what a sickly opportunity
For a spastoplegic hog from Galactic Cluster B
Oh Triggly did you see what youtube did to you?
They Hijacked you, Triggly!
They told the truth, Triggly
You, Triggly...
...are Big Red Two, Triggly

Oh Triggly you're so fly
Who ate all the fucking pies?
Hey Triggly! Hey Triggly!

Oh Triggly you're so based
Stuffed with crabstick flavoured paste
Hey Triggly! Hey Triggly!

Oh Triggly you've got clout
When's the fucking album out?
Hey Triggly! Hey Triggly!

Oh Triggly, where's your manners?
Check this bitch's hippocampus


Oh Triggly what a prickly space for you to take
A safety bubble base in seats 12 and 13 K
Oh Triggly it's so fiddly dialling 911
With those chode thumbs Triggly
You hot cross bun, Triggly
Come, Triggly
It's just for fun, Triggly

Oh Triggly what a fitting picture of an age
A squitzophlemic mass of reverberating rage
Oh Triggly would you mind if I respond in kind?
Well fuck you too Triggly
Pleased to meet you Triggly
Do Triggly
Thanks for the laugh Triggly
Track Name: Progress
Whatever - There's some shit out there
Whatever - Of which we're all aware
Whatever - We have seen your land
Whatever - And yes we understand
Whatever - As far as I'm concerned
Whatever - This oyster is your world
Whatever - But take heed from me
The west is not what it seems to be

PROGRESS - It's what we call it here
PROGRESS - Out in the blogosphere
PROGRESS - We tolerate no hate
PROGRESS - Now everybody Segregate!

SURRENDER - We will shame your men
TO GENDER - For shaming us for shaming them
SURRENDER - Listen and believe
WHATEVER the fuck that means
I LOVE YOU - Triplicate that please
I WANT YOU - I'm calling the police
I'M SORRY - Now I feel mentally undressed
GOODBYE THEN - Now I feel micro-agressed

PROGRESS - It's what we call it here
PROGRESS - Out in this twatosphere
PROGRESS - We love everyone
PROGRESS - Except the sexist racist scum
PROGRESS - We'll never take the piss
PROGRESS - Unless you're white, male or cis
PROGRESS - And if we draw Mohammed
PROGRESS - Feel free to chop off our heads

Here where the water's cheap
At least you won't get dysentery
This land cannot be spoiled
Because there's fuck all oil

I KNOW THAT - All my eastern friends
TO LIVE HERE - This all looks heaven sent
BUT THAT'S 'CAUSE - You haven't seen what this
BULLSHIT - will fucking do to your kids
WASTERS - They'll never get a job
WANKERS - Just join the PC mob
ASSHATS - Professional victims
PRICKS - Huddled up like King Penguins
Fucking purple penguins

PROGRESS - Now you have to go
PROGRESS - You lost this one bro
PROGRESS - You don't stand a chance
PROGRESS - You'd be better off in France

PROGRESS - We'll erase your face
PROGRESS - And replace it with a safe space
PROGRESS - We'll cleanse your neighbourhood
PROGRESS - It's for the greater good
Track Name: Walk with an Erection
All the humans do the cat calls
And the wolf whistles just to fuck with you
And if they look too black (OAO)
They fuck with that progressive stack
While the white man looks away
As he subconsciously saps your self esteem
Damned if you do (OAO)
Damned if you don't
Shamed if you can't

Pay no mind, look at the sky
And walk with an erection

All the ladies scream and run from you
Instead of just slamming into you
Except for a few (OAO)
Who cackle like twenty cattle trucks
All the schoolkids think it's funny
They've not been to these Universities
So they get a slap (OAO)
And told that they're not to laugh at that

Fuck 'em son, this is for fun!
Walk with an erection

Slide into the sheath, bend your shaft
Shift your sack, then you pull it back
Life's hard you know
So strike a match
Fly the Union Jack
Take it to the streets
And just see what sexual harassment means
They point and stare (OAO)
They call the cops, pepper spray your cock
Tase you in the anus
Steal your shoes and piss on you
Beat you black and blue
Then the cops show up (OAO)
They take you and rape you in a cage

You're a harasser just for having an ass, sir
So walk with an Erection
Track Name: We are the Trans Glitterati
The lock slides on the closet door
What shall I throw on today?
Maybe a boob tube and some dungarees
And a waistcoat of self hate
I need a way to look like shit
that looks downtrodden and yet expensive
And then the transphobes
Will have me disrobed

Oh we are the Trans Glitterati
And we never used to be this damn gaudy
Yeah we are the Trans Glitterati
And we're coming for your feelz

Oh and our pants are non binary
And our souls are well heeled in refinery
Horn rims with no glass but we can't see
With our heads between our knees

I was one thing but now I'm not
Now I'm neither, now I'm both
I don't care about your chromosomes
Or your hippocratic oath
I'm better than the average man
Who just wears t shirts and stained sweat pants
I want the cat calls
But stay away from my balls

Oh we are the Trans Glitterati
The disillusioned illuminati
Yeah what's your stance on zucchinis?
Are they quasiplatonic?

Oh we are the Trans Glitterati
So you don't get free speech
Yeah we're freelancing for Stalin
In the style of Mugabe

(In the style of Mugabe)
(Do me like Kony)

I don't quite feel a hundred percent
So I must be a second class citizen
Now when will you shitlords
Give me my award?

Oh we are the Trans Glitterati
And I'm pretty sure that means we're just squaddies
For the necromancer society
In the college of your dreams

I'm Gorilla kin and you capped me
Where'd you think you are, Cincinnati?
Yeah we are the Trans Glitterati
We're whatever we can't be

Don't you wanna trans? He's not a baby
Don't you wanna trans? He's not a boy
Don't you wanna trans? Everybody in!
We're trans hermaphrodite kin

Are you FTM? Are you MTF?
Are MTM? Are you FTF?
Fuckin WTFU
Track Name: I Think you're being Trolled now
Children be safe
Or the trust and safety council will come
And take you away
For re-education 101
When you're showing off your ass on instagram
And you run into somebody from the chans
Try remembering which rule is which
When they rock up in your comments with a hardon
Saying you're a fugly bitch

I think you're being trolled now
It's not a commentary from a talent scout
I think you're being trolled now
Somebody used intimidating shout
I think you're being trolled now
A case of sour grapes versus sauerkraut
It's all about the lolz now
They're feeding on your arse and you're giving it out

When it was just books
It took weeks for critics to speak
But when we're online
Shit flies at the speed of light
So when you're tweeting hashtag kill all men
Like that won't offend any of them
Try to restrain yourself when someone says
"I am fapping in your face you nigger faggot
and I hope that you get raped"

I think you're being trolled now
No need for the police or the fucking crown
So just put the phone down
Now is not the time to release the hounds
I think you're being trolled now
Remember rule 14 and calm the fuck down
Go look at some lolcats
But watch out for the catfish and rainbow trout

When you're running off your mouth on the web
And you come across another of the plebs
Trying to get them to take all the bait
But instead they tell you fuck the Jews
And talk about the aliens in their brain

I think you're being trolled now
You've been chasing wild geese for a hundred hours
An interesting turnout
Time to take a break and a golden shower
I think you've been pwned now
Trolling is and art and you are an hero
Chalk this one to Poe's law
Take thy beak from out my heart
And take thy form from off my door
Track Name: Inferior Child
Some guys beg and some guys dredge
And some get pity lays
Some get phantom pity wanks
From a thousand miles away
Some send off for concubines
Or mail order brides (black thai)
Some buy robots and fleshlights
Until it's made a crime

We have the privilege of patriarchal paradise
And I am an inferior guy
I know because they told me in my gender studies
That I am an inferior child

Some girls date you, some girls rape you
Then take you to court
Some roam campus with a mattress
Then win some awards

Some girls dress half naked
and demand you take the lead (Who me?)
But don't you dare be poor and ugly
That's misogyny

We have the privilege that male virginity
is valuable currency
I know because they told me if you touch a pussy
They brand you as a serial thief

Privilege. Toxic masculinity
I am an inferior creed
I know because of all these communication degrees
That I am an inferior breed

Privilege in an inferior world

Privilege in an inferior world

Privilege in an inferior world

Privilege in an inferior world

We build our golden cities
With male slaves and honor killings
But they don't die in body bags
They're all reserved for women

Cos everybody's living in a misogynist hell
Especially everyone else
The grass is always greener
When the goggles are clean
You fight vicariously for yourself
So those folks can talk shit
About my state of affairs
And I cannot say shit about theirs
Unless I happen to be saying "misogyny!"
And then I may continue to tweet

We have the privilege of being pasty and white
and I have an inferior face
I know because they told me that sociologically
I am an inferior race

Muh misogyny
Muh misogyny
Muh misogyny

Privilege in an inferior world

Privilege in an inferior world

Privilege in an inferior world

Privilege in an inferior world
Track Name: Girls Wanna Heart of Glass
Once had a love in the morning light
My mother said it was a gas
Seemed like the real thing
We're not the fortunate ones
Oh girls wanna heart of glass

Once had a love in the middle of the night
My father yells "I was losing my mind"
Oh daddy dear, I was so blind
Girls love's gone behind
Oh, Girls in between what I find is pleasing
And when the working day is done
There's no peace of mind
And if I fear I'm losing you
Girls just wanna have
just no good
you teasing like you do

Once had a love
And it was a beautiful gas
Soon turned out
The rest of the world
Seemed like the real thing
To walk in the sun
Girls wanna heart of glass
That's all they really want
Lost inside adorable illusions
And when they're working
I'm the one you're using
Please don't push me aside
We could've made it cruising yeah

Riding high on love's true bluish light

...When you gonna realise
it was just that the time was wrong
... Juliet

(A lovestruck Romeo sings the streets a serenade)

(Laying everybody low with a love song that he made)

(Finds a street light, steps out of the shade, says something like...)

(...You and me babe, how about it?)

(...how about it?)
Track Name: Neunundsechzigvergewaltigungsblase
You and I in a motel stop
In a Californian melting pot
Making love in a midnight tryst
In each position that we wished
Who knew consent within this state
Is verbal and ongoing, or it's rape?
This can't be done, as we have found
When a 69 rape balloon goes down

The 69 rape balloon
Where laws of physics come to spoon
Where every thought's subliminal
And everyone's a criminal
The War Machine springs to life
To fuck the the Young Turks in the eye
Caught beneath a landslide
In a 69 rape balloon in the sky

69 pigs at the door
69 crimes to be charged for
To book you, fuck you, lock you up
For having sex with your mouth shut
This is what we've waited for
This is 1984
You might say we fucked ourselves
In a 69 rape balloon in hell

(It's what the darkest pits of Erebus look like
A gigantic fucking rape bubble)

69 nights in the slammer
It's just like school but without the glamour
In here, oppression's not pretend
It never is when it's men on men
Is that the right nomenclature?
At least I'm free from that rape culture
Sleeping twisted face to ass
In der neunundsechzigvergewaltigungsblase

69 dreams I have had
In every one, a rape balloon
It's all over, we're both the victim
In the mess that was a system
If I could take a photograph
Would this moment make us laugh?
Made for you. A rape balloon
The only joke you won't let go
Track Name: Totalitarian Farce
(Burn it down)
Every time a poster says a thing I don't like
or has a shot of someone hotter than me
(Burn it down)
Every time I send out an inflammatory tweet
and the responses give me PTSD
(Burn it down)
Every time a publisher circulates words
that I've decided are now sexual slurs
(Burn it down)
Every time I go to the police and report
their horses raped me and they say that's absurd

(Burn it down sidewise)
Every time a baby boy is born
(Slice it off, why not?)
Cos no one likes a prepuce in their porn

(Burn it down)
Every time a bathroom is conveniently white
instead of yellow, black or brown
(Burn it down)
Every time a school has less than twenty percent of it
addicted to medicinal compound
(Burn it down)
Every time my headmates all turn out to be racist
and my space ain't even safe in my home
(Burn it down)
Every time a teacher disagrees with my thesis
that cat calling caused the falling of Rome

(Burn it down, Reichstag)
Stop me if you've heard this all before
(Arbeit macht frei)
Stop me if you can't take any more

It's a new Utopia, where you can't believe in heaven
Just a cornucopia of clinical oppression
An imploding colonial empire with a bone in its nose
A splinted human centipede that's missing a spine
Systemically convicted of a victimless crime
My head is in the sand, my ass is in the sky
There's spiders in my eyes, my skin is full of bot flies
I'm getting sick of this shite
Arrest me, give me jail for life
For daring to support men's rights

Once upon a time I would smile and laugh
Now I just can't even be arsed
There's nothing left to parse
A Totalitarian Farce
Randomised Rorschachs of vaginal discharge
This is what you people call art?
The future's looking sparse
A Totalitarian Farce

(Burn it down)
Normally this is an instrumental refrain
where Bonnie breaks out the chicanery
But it's an opportunity to speak to you candidly
and still within the melody
So what's the deal with stealing all the 80s pop princesses
and throwing acid punk in their face?
Well I'm singing for the women
who have dropped out of STEM since then
and waged a gender war in its place

(Burn it down, Reichstag)
Be the politicians if you must
(Arbeit macht frei)
But you'll never take the microphone from us

You can bleed us of our rights
You can call yourselves the leaders
You can stone the holy sites
But you'll never be the divas
'Cause the songs always come from the slime
In the gutters of life
The Frankenstein Bacteria you dumped in the sea
The Electric Jellied eels you created upstream
There's only so much you can cram inside a man
Before he shits a diamond saw to cut off your hands

We're getting fucked in the eyes
And then we're getting fucked in the ears
I think that's why it's called male tears

Once upon a time, I was fighting the Gods
Now I'm only fighting the dogs
And ban hammer happy mods
On totalitarian blogs
The TV mostly shows prolapsed body parts
The radio just bleeps and farts
And films are just as dark
It's nothing but tits and retards

...Nothing but tits and retards
Track Name: Who Consented to a Virgin Birth?
Ooh Jesus don't you know that hurts
Who said it'd be a virgin birth?
They say it's not about length but girth
Who said it'd be a virgin birth?
Who consented to a virgin birth?

When the angel came
On the shepherd's flocks as they washed their socks
He said "My name's Gabe"
He said "Come with me. Oh and bring that sheep"
There's a show you gotta see
The hottest thing this side of Galilee
You thought the Jewish chicks were freaks
But have you heard of Catholic girls?

Ooh Jesus don't you know that hurts
Who said it'd be a virgin birth?
They say in heaven girls don't squirt
Who said it'd be a virgin birth?
Who consented to a virgin birth?

Then the wise men came
Saying "We wuz Kings" and "That's Right" and ting
"We were told this show
Makes the Bangkok Towers look like baby showers"
"We're gonna pimp this bitch in gold rims
Hot box this crib with some aromatic resin"
We said "Thanks you guys, this frankincense
Really hides the whiff of the donkey shit"

Ooh Jesus what the fuck is myrrh?
Who said it'd be a virgin birth?
I thought I'd just get a free t shirt
Who said it'd be a virgin birth?
Who consented to a virgin birth?

Maybe there's a link and maybe there isn't
Between one way birth canals and gynocentrism
I'm not saying it wasn't God's seed
But it could have been some other heeb

Ooh Jesus are we all perverts?
Or all we all just virgin births?
They say the back door's just dessert
Who else will be a virgin birth?
Who consented to a virgin birth?
Track Name: The Hillary Elephant
The USA, by nature and by name
Became an intelligent sentience
And Hillary also came
With strong white knights
And bishops sold and hired
Off she ran to Bosniastan
Surrounded by sniper fire

The Hillary Elephant smacked her husband
out of the Oval Office
Off she went with a pump and a dump
The Hillary Elephant stacked her chips
and stumbled into a thumbnail
And jumped a queue that is there to be jumped.

Read the news, sedated and seduced
Cruz will snooze and lose
and Colonel Sanders rules no roost
Don't fuck with me, I was the first lady
I got the job by fucking that slob
So help me I'll fuck you too.

The Hillary Elephant had enough
Of unelected insurgence
And wanted a piece of a pie in the Skynet
Trump Trump Trump!
Donny, imagine you're Denny Crane
Let's face it you basically are
Trust me, this'll be funny as fuck
Trump Trump Trump!

The Hillary Elephant said to Trump
"I'll stand behind this absurdness
And look like less of a fucking mugwump."
Trump Trump Trump!
The Hillary Elephant backed a donkey
All the way out of the White House
Now she's back with some junk in the trunk
Trump! Trump! Trump!

The senate has heard recordings long long ago
The bitch is full of shit and Horton only heard a ho

The Hillary Elephant wants a chunk of flesh
The size of a suitcase
Popped right open whenever she wants
Trump Trump Trump!
Why would you fight a straw man of your enemy
when he's a brick man?
Not by the hair on my rumpity-rump
Trump Trump Trump!
The Hillary Elephant's out to lunch
And won't even show up for breakfast
Luckily there is a baddie to thump
Trump Trump Trump!
Selling the democrats back to front
Republishing the republic
Watching the donkeys and elephants hump
Trump Trump Trump
Track Name: Lupus Stupor
Lupus Stupor
That we didn't vote for
Finally has been sunk
Like the cancerous skunk
That we always knew it was
Such a supine coastline
Leaves are on the grapevine
This next drink's on me
So long, Germany
There's plenty more fish in the sea

I was drunk and was not feeling well
When I wired you that cash from Krakow
Now I'm balancing the books and have to tell
The Nigerian prince to back off
We learned our lesson not to meddle in the centers
Of population density
Unless you're explicitly in it for the human slavery

You fuckin Circular Tricolore
Veto this you bastards!
How d'you like them plums?
And so spoke the scum
And the national income
So take your Groupthought Cold War
Shove it up your offshore holding company
Have fun with your spreadsheets
We'll be taking back the streets

I was on my way to Dusseldorf
When the train was hijacked by Isis
We apologised and gave them jobs
And it caused a financial crisis
When your continent resembles a placenta
Then it's time to cut the cord
I would rather shoot my foot
Than chop my head off with a sword

Because your Shoehorned Eunicorn
Turned out to be stillborn
And it pierced your sleeve
Why you make it breathe
Still remains a mystery
Because he's Cortisone Eurozone
Clouded by Cologne
With a thousand separate rules
About terrorist abuse
And all of them involve the Jews

So I'll remain
...in the UK
Inside a state in which democracy survives
And so will you if you will learn
And you can choose
To take it on the chin next time you lose

You fuckin Labrador Troubadour
Sophomoric Dinosaur
Hiking up the price on everything
Well I'm on a shoe string
So kiss me on my sovereign ring

You've got your Pseudo Trudeau
In your Quasi-Swaziland
Why d'you need us too?
What d'you actually do?
And why the fuck do we need
Eurosoap on a rope
Bodyscanned and rotoscoped
Soaked in quarantine
Feeding the machine
That produces magic beans

Lucifer's Usurper
Wouldn't touch it with yours
Neither would these tools
They'll make up some excuse
And blame the whole shebang on
Jupiter's Zookeeper
Ganymede's back gardener
Io's great outdoors
All this can be yours
I'll see you on Europa's shores
Track Name: Pushing the Envelope
There's no shame in this world
There are no rules, just evil eyes
I've heard this mission is impossible
And every penis is underqualified
Mine seems to be hanging from the ceiling
Strung up in your underpants
Pushing the envelope
Trying to get the letters out
Jumping out a plane without a lawsuit
Listen to the clouds go by
Pissing your name in the sky
This'll be my last goodbye
And yours too

I'm not your brother or your son
I'm not your baby but that goes without saying
I'm by the way sure as fuck not your dog
So throw the stick away. I'm not playing

And if you could maybe in the meantime
Stop chewing up the FUCKING MALE?

Pushing the envelope
Ravishing the dressing gown
Yelling from an ivory tower of statues
Light up every torch until the King's
Left with nothing else but kindling
Then you'll have enough for signalling your virtues

Pushing on an endless rope
With nobody to hear the sound
Entering the hunting ground on horseshoes
Kicking in a tiger's sack
Severing his aphrodisiac
Throw it out and sell the paperback
and divorce you

(oooh, Yes means no.)
(oooh, Up means down)
Never gonna live, never gonna live up to this
Never gonna live, never gonna live... live this down

Like Che Guevara and Mao Zedong
You are the faces of Europe's high school flakes
Despite the golden age that's been and gone
And all the murdering along the way

Star in liberal posters of the future
And join your local Taliban

Illuminate the heliotrope
Fortify the elder flower
Jettison the food, devour the basket
Set up all your best Godheads
Tell them all to bring out your dead
Have everybody burned alive in the casket
Everyone's a misanthrope
Everybody's lost uptown
Looking for a proper noun to pursue
Better call the FBI
Instigate the Hue and Cry
Maybe they will care this time and persecute
Everybody leave Europe
Everybody fuck Islam
Oh and fuckin BLM. Fuck them too.
Fuck the left and fuck the right
Feminism's fucked all night
Tell them all to suck my mike and fuck you

Now it's time to wrap this up
So I'd better shut this down
This has been the final song on my debut
So that's where I say goodnight
And remind you all fuck right
See you all again in time
and space